Dollar Signs and Ms. Lowball


Dollar Signs and Ms. Lowball
By: The Smartass

As I stated in one of my previous blogs, because of the slow market in my area, I decided to look at other avenues of revenue including the possibility of a flip.

In late February, I was on the phone with Ms. Lowball who was in a highly excited mood. She told me about a potential deal where we could make $70,000 on a single flip.

Now, you have to understand, that when big numbers are concerned, Ms. Lowball is like Peg Bundy and Bon Bon’s….she’s on a mission.


We had put some feelers out that we would partner with someone if they brought us deals. I had been looking for some time at the neighborhood I great up in. It’s a hot area and I lost a chance at a home there last year to….you guessed it….a LOWBALL offer! (Someone is STILL hearing about this, I assure you!)

Anyway, there was a wholesale deal for a 3,000 square foot house for $150,000 with about $60,000 worth of rehab. The deal was brought to us by a general contractor and the market analysis said it would be worth $280,000 when complete. The prospective partner was looking at a rental or a flip with a 65/35 split in our favor. He would do the work and use his credit, we supplied the cash and property management.

Ms. Lowball was a lot like a kid before Christmas with dollar signs dancing in her oversized head.

She might be a genius with real estate and spreadsheets, but without a calculator she is like Elaine when she has too much sex!


So I told her, “Let’s look at the numbers. For a rental you have $210,000 which is 75 percent….not the 70 percent I am looking for, but still a great number. This is a wholesale deal, so cash out of pocket would be nine percent, closing costs around $18,000 and an additional five percent above the 70 percent loan to value margin we would have to pay. All in? $28,500. Our mortgage would be approximately $1,900 and the market rent in that area would be $1,900 to $2,000 a month.”

Houston, we have a problem.

The equity capture is okay for now, but the passive income sucks!

So now, let’s look at the flip. The hard money loans I use don’t allow flips, but we found a hard money lender used for flipping, but they wanted 75 percent of the loan in reserves….in our bank account. This means we would tie up over $150,000 until the flip is complete. We would still need $28,500 to close and the projected rehab time was two to four months.
Hard money loans are about 12 to 14 percent, so we would be paying $2,300 a month mortgage for four months which is $9200. The closing costs on the sale of the home would be about an additional $14,400.

So, where are we now?

$70,000 - $28,500 - $9,200 - $14,400 = $17,900. Not a bad little profit, but split at 65/35 we would walk away with $11,700. Add in capital gains tax and our profit is reduced to around $8,000 for a $28,000 investment and holding $150,000 in reserves if and only if everything goes right and the house sells!

I am sure there are cheaper ways to finance a flip, but unless it is drastically cheaper, these numbers don’t work for me.

Too much risk for every little reward.

Sorry, Ms. Lowball, no Bon Bon’s for you!

Note to Ms. Lowball: Even though you can’t add your way out of a paper bag, you are still loved and appreciated!


The Smartass

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About Unknown

Ms. Lowball is the editor in cheif for the smartass. This website is run and administered by her company, Valkeryie Consulting.
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